Friday, August 28, 2009

Mermaids again

Fekin hell, things have changed since my last post. My husband left me on the 4th August after 10 years, he didn't say a word beforehand, just left. Big big shock. He left to find himself and promptly found someone else in the shape of his 30 year old, slim, blond, childless Osteopath who he had met a few months previously. They are currently on holiday together and I am currently at my Parents house on the Isle of Wight attempting to heal a bit and deal with all the pain, anger, betrayal and loss. It's been a shit summer. Though I have started to see the possibilities of a new dawn, mainly because I have to, I still feel pretty full of all of those emotions as you can imagine.

Still trying to keep a civil tongue in my head or no tongue at all for my little boys sake. He asked Daddy what he has been doing today and he said he'd had a nice climb and a bike ride, and much else besided I've no doubt. Mummy just couldn't fit that stuff in for Daddy between the housework and childcare, what a shit wife I must have been. Oh well he gets to play at being Daddy a few days a week and is free to shag his climbing partner the rest of the time. And he'll have the healthiest back he's ever had, classy of her to go through her lists for married men, lets hope she doesn't make a habbit of it. Wait till she get pregnant and see what happens then.

Little vent of bitterness there, I'm sure my audience of two would forgive me.

I seem unable to express these feelings in my making however am mostly embroidering, some words, some pictures, just finished a sweet little mermaid. Bit of a theme going on there. No leeds to transfer photos right now but will do when I get home. How genteel when I feel I could be smashing things and painting huge panels of violent oils.

Not so much room for that here though, I'll have to save that for when I get home.

May I transcend this time and become whole and better, bigger, more serene and more assured.

Love to you two if you are reading this,

1 comment:

Saira172 said...

Just found this whilst cyber stalking someone else! Just read prophetic.... and what a difference a year makes my dear sweet friend! xxxx